"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
