i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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