First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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