So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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