So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
