how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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