I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
