I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
