Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
