oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
