Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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