I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
