if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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