Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
