someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
