you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
