chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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