Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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