Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
