I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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