I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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