if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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