She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
