Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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