yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yo dont text me then not text me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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