I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
