i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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