I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
