can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
