who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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