you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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