you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
