Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
