Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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