How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
