i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
