the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
