We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize