We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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