So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
