That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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