Do you still have your period?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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