The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are two peas in an std pod
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
