My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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