Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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