Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
