you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
