would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The uberlube is also flammable
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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