I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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