I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
