i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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