Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
