Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Randomize
